Saturday, February 19, 2011

I Love The Daddy's!

   Praise God!  My eyes hadn't even opened early this AM when I began thinking about the Lord and how much He has healed and restored my life.  It was the first time I have actually gone back to those 'younger' days when I was such a rebel and not left them feeling like a horrible person!  Today, I left them saying 'Thank you God for healing me, for restoring me, for bringing me out of a terrible place'.  I began thinking of my parents and all that I put them through.  I thought of how they loved me through it all, trying their best to respond the right way. Then, I began to question myself, 'WHY?' Why did I do those things and behave that way?
  My father was a very hard worker, who traveled often.  I knew he loved me, he always provided for us, and when he was home he spent hours of quality time with us.  So, I am not here to say I had a poor father, in my heart I feel quite the contrary, and before he died he restored so much to me.  Now, through years of healing, I realize that he couldn't give us children things that he didn't receive as a child himself, without God of course.  Every little girl and boy need their daddy.  What if I would have had my dad around for all of the affirmation, hugs, long walks, etc... Even if dads aren't traveling, the world is still dealing with absentee fathers, they can be absent if in the home daily, they are stuck on the computer, busy with the TV, or  busy with ministry(Ouch!).  I can tell you right now that not having those long talks with dad, heart-felt moments, him telling me how beautiful I am, affirming me, helping me along the way--it mattered!  Of course when the first 'male' comes along and tells you those things you are going to fall hook, line, and sinker.  I did!  And, I have regretted it for years. I, in fact, fell hook, line, and sinker for anything that made me feel 'better', made me feel 'important', made me feel 'needed', made me feel 'beautiful', made me feel 'honored', and much more.  I have felt such shame about the whole history of my life as a teenager.  And shame is no joke!  It leaves you feeling insecure and much more.  I have struggled with confidence in who God has called me to be, in who I am.  I have felt shame from others who know me.  I have felt like they were always thinking of the mess I created in my sin.  And, even if they really doesn't matter, I just hadn't been healed enough to walk through that without feeling worse about myself.
   Healing is a beautiful thing!  God is so wonderful to forgive our sins, to let it all go for us and not let it hang over our heads.  I realize I have been allowing my past sins to just dangle around me and continue to blow their nasty residue all over my mind.  I have been redeemed!!  I am forgiven.  And, guess what, God doesn't think about those things anymore.  I am new, I am clean.  How much of this has played into the atmosphere of our home?  The shame I have dealt with, the lack of confidence, me not feeling like I could be myself because it wouldn't 'please' others?  It causes frustrations, nasty tones, bad attitudes, etc...WE ARE FREE in Christ, we can rest, he loves us no matter what!  We have given our hearts to Him and that's all He needs to begin the good work.
    I had a 'teachable moment' with my 11 yo last night.  We talked and talked and worked through some conflict for waaay too long...;).  In the end, guess who she wanted to carry her to bed, tuck her in, and affirm her, make her laugh, give her a big hug, tell her how much she is loved...her DADDY!!  DADDY'S are huge!!  Let's pray for our 'daddy's' to step up to the plate and be the godly men of our homes that they are called to be.  And--Thank you to all you wonderful father's out there that have this revelation and put nothing before God and your ministry as a husband and father.  John-I LOVE YOU!  It is THE most important part of lives, that relationship leads us to our relationship with God...daddy's are our first picture of God.  What picture to our homes paint?
I am out of free time--but, can't wait to share some about our homeschooling conference!  It was amazing.  There was a lot of 'school' seminars, but a lot more 'real' issue seminars that ministered to me.  You will definitely be getting a bit of that soon :)!

Countdown is on!  Can't wait to see all you wonderful love continues to grow for you all!

Resting in the Arms of God Today,