Sunday, August 15, 2010
Furlough...when is that again?
Today, I just really need to sit down and write. So, my online journal...here is my world. I have had such a wonderful, happy summer break from homeschooling. Especially after Lake's accident and seeing the progress he has made. God is so good! We have been here, going on three years now, or about four. I have this longing still, is it going to stay here forever? Is it the longing for my family and friends? Yes, I do long to see the Thai people serving our God and loving Him with all that is within them. Is it the longing to feel connected to those around me? I am just not content and when I finally feel like I am about to 'get' it, then, I suddenly feel it again. Life is good here, the family's needs are being met, John and I are doing good, but something just isn't right. I would love to talk to some veteran missionaries, you know, 20-30 years on the field. I think I will when the opportunity arises. In the meantime, does one who moves to a foreign land ever feel REALLY at home? And yes, I know, some have said, 'don't put yourself in a bubble'. I am not! I DON'T speak Thai fluently, nor do I feel like it is my calling at this point--to leave the home and study full-time. I enjoy speaking the language and would love to know every nook and cranny of Thai, down to the humor, but right now I don't and it really isn't an option for me. I have four beautiful children and a house and homeschool to run...so that will have to wait until I am an empty nester.
Honestly, I really, really, miss my close family and friends. The ones that share the same vision as you, the ones that share your heart, the ones that love to sit and talk about the marvelous works of our Creator, the ones that just tug on your heart strings, the ones that challenge you, the ones that encourage you, the ones that will correct you, the ones that will listen, hug, and cry with you. Do you know what I mean? Can you relate to that at all? Can you relate to being tired of feeling like a movie star every where you go? People watching your every move, people watching the salad dressing dripping from the sides of your mouth? People just saying 'Hi' all the time, day in/day out...but, never really getting to KNOW anyone. Okay, well...I am ready for the people to come and know Christ already, where I can have some more friends. I have a handful here and I do thank the Lord for them, they are wonderful and truly a blessing to my life. I hope I don't sound like I am complaining? I don't want to complain, I am a little forlorn today.
Overall, life is sooooo wonderful!!!! My husband is AMAZING and my children are such a blessing to us both!! We are, as a family, so happy!!! Being missionaries on the other side of the world, just isn't easy!
I love you all!
Posted by sandy at 3:22 AM